By Sarah Simmons, M.S.S., LCSW
It’s that time of year when we all begin thinking about our resolutions for the New Year. We all have lots of different reasons for self-improvement. However, as I sit here in my office evaluating my own bias, my reason for encouraging you to consider self-care is for your own mental health. Notice my specific language of self-care; the act of being aware of and taking care of oneself. There is an incredible amount of research that indicates how physical activity helps improve our overall mental health. Additionally, improving our health is the number one New Year’s resolution (a recent study showed that over 55% of resolutions are health related).
I believe one of the biggest mistakes made in New Year’s resolutions is setting a goal that is too big (insert “Go Big or Go Home” here). Rather, setting small attainable goals that allow room for success is more likely to be sustained over time. For example, if your goal is to exercise more, why not start with something small like a walk to the mailbox 3 days a week, or set your step counter for a goal of 5,000 steps instead of the standard 10,000 per day. I have found that when you are successful with these small goals you are more likely to increase your goals accordingly.
Check your expectations. Don’t set your sights on seeing results on the scale or in your clothing. This misses the point. Self-care is best when generated from a place of love for the self. Focus more on how it makes you feel rather than concrete results you can see. This creates a positive feedback loop; the better you feel about yourself, the more you improve your mental health and well-being, which promotes more self-care activity.
When you mess up, miss a week of exercise, eat something you’re trying to avoid, etc., I encourage curiosity rather than judgement. Internal questioning such as, “What has been going on for me today (this week)?, What am I feeling?, What is the voice in my head (my narrative) telling me? Is it true? How might that have impacted my choices? Have grace for yourself and talk with someone you trust that can help you put that shame away, get back up and keep going.
A study published by the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that the biggest predictor of long term, habit forming change, was the amount of enjoyment you get from it. This can be a challenge when you are attempting to do things that are often not defined as enjoyable in your mind (at least at first). If you are wanting to increase physical activity, can you try allowing treadmill time to be when you binge on Netflix? Research suggests enjoyment can be found when picking up a new game such as tennis instead of just going to the gym. I look forward to exercise because it is my book time (audio). I don’t have time to sit and leisurely read through the latest crime novel, but I can do it while I workout. Use journaling as an opportunity to explore how it feels to be successful with your goals. With sufficient repeats over time these behavioral and psychological changes can become habits and habits are hard to break.
American Psychological Association. (2019, November 10). Making Your New Year’s Resolutions Stick. https://www.apa.org/topics/behavioral-health/new-year-resolutions
Persuad, M.D., R., & Bruggen, M.D., P. (2017, December 31). Psychology Explains New Year’s Resolution, Hits and Misses. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/slightly-blighty/201712/psychology-explains-new-year-resolutions-hits-and-misses