Alan Melton, LPC
Like many, I have often wondered why Christmas is so powerful. Over the years I have heard it is because of our overly high expectations or our idealized notions of what a perfect holiday is supposed to be. Of course these are true but I have wondered if there might be something more–something deeper. So I starting thinking about Christmas as an anniversary reaction. Anniversary reactions occur when we experience a significant anniversary and the memories and feelings associated with the original event come pouring forth from our unconscious into consciousness. Maybe this is what happens at Christmas. The Holiday is an anniversary. We have celebrated this day every year from the time we can remember. As a result all kinds of feelings get stirred up around it. Each year when this day rolls around we remember all the other years we have celebrated it–the good ones, the bad ones, and the in between ones. All kinds of feelings come gushing forth. One popular Christmas song says,”Christmas makes me feel emotional.” That is true. I believe it is true because we experience Christmas as an anniversary reaction. So this year I would encourage you, when you are feeling all kinds of emotions at Christmas, to think of them as an anniversary reaction. May we all let the varied feelings of love, joy, dread, anxiety, depression, etc come to the forefront of our minds. May we embrace them. Attend to them. Let them come. And also try to understand them. If your feelings get too uncomfortable during the Christmas holidays then you might consider seeking out a therapist to help you work through them. Therapy can help when the anniversary reaction of Christmas becomes too emotionally overwhelming and the negative feelings come to predominate. I hope your Christmas emotional anniversary reaction this year is more pleasant than not, and that the positive feelings of this season much outweigh those that are more painful. Happy Holiday!